Two steps inside and I felt Isabella’s muscles stiffen beneath my hand. Looking down, she’d lost all color in her face. Moving to stand in front of her, I tried to get her to look at me, to focus but she wouldn’t. Instead, her arms crossed her body, hugging herself tightly and her breathing was becoming increasingly shallow.
An older couple walked around us with stares of obvious curiosity at the scene. I couldn’t care less. All I knew is that we needed to leave this place. I had no idea what was going on exactly but something changed once we’d entered this building. My only hope was that leaving it would correct the problem.
Putting my arm firmly around her waist, pulling her to my side, I practically carried her back out the door. Looking around, I spotted a bench across the way and headed for it.
Thankfully, it was still early enough in the season that there weren’t crowds of people. That didn’t mean we weren’t attracting attention though. Several people, including one zoo worker, paused in their progress to assess the situation. I couldn’t spare them much attention, however.
As we both sat down on the bench, she continued to curl into herself and was now engaged in a sort of rocking motion. She was mumbling, but I couldn’t make out the words.
Wherever she was, it wasn’t here. I needed her to calm down and focus.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Perspective - Chapter 38 Teaser
“You both are very young. Is there a reason why you are choosing now to get married?”
Of course we could not share the real reason, which involved Bella’s obsession with getting older. Instead, I told him the same thing I’d told Charlie when we’d announced our impending marriage. “We are both going away to Dartmouth this fall, and we would like to do that the right way.”
I was hoping that would be the end of it, but by his thoughts I could tell he was not going to let it go so easily. “So there is nothing other than college that is causing you to marry now rather than in a few years?”
Bella moaned, which caused both of us to switch our attention to her. I, of course, knew the cause of her reaction. It was one I’d felt every time I’d hear the thoughts or whispers around us whenever we were seen out in Forks together. Only years of masking my thoughts and emotions kept me from outwardly expressing my frustration again and again. My love didn’t have all those years of experience in hiding behind a mask, and right at this moment her frustration showed plain on her face.
“I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, Bella,” Reverend Webber said, and I could tell he was sincere. “but I do have to ask.”
She let out a heavy sigh. “No. I’m not pregnant.”
Of course we could not share the real reason, which involved Bella’s obsession with getting older. Instead, I told him the same thing I’d told Charlie when we’d announced our impending marriage. “We are both going away to Dartmouth this fall, and we would like to do that the right way.”
I was hoping that would be the end of it, but by his thoughts I could tell he was not going to let it go so easily. “So there is nothing other than college that is causing you to marry now rather than in a few years?”
Bella moaned, which caused both of us to switch our attention to her. I, of course, knew the cause of her reaction. It was one I’d felt every time I’d hear the thoughts or whispers around us whenever we were seen out in Forks together. Only years of masking my thoughts and emotions kept me from outwardly expressing my frustration again and again. My love didn’t have all those years of experience in hiding behind a mask, and right at this moment her frustration showed plain on her face.
“I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, Bella,” Reverend Webber said, and I could tell he was sincere. “but I do have to ask.”
She let out a heavy sigh. “No. I’m not pregnant.”
Saturday, October 24, 2009
FB - Chapter 6 Teaser
Before heading out, we both went into our rooms and changed into jeans. I grabbed my favorite pair, the ones I wore to family barbeques over at Carlisle and Esme’s house. There was an excitement humming through me as I got dressed for the second time today.
Walking back out into my living room, I waited for her. Isabella stepped out of her room wearing a fitted pair of jeans and a dark blue long sleeved shirt. Her hair was pulled back in a long flowing ponytail, pulling it just slightly off her neck but still allowing it to tumble down across her shoulders. A brief flash from this morning crossed my mind of long flowing brown hair brushing against my thighs and I had to turn away abruptly before I did something stupid.
Taking a deep breath to calm myself, “Are you ready?”
“Yes, master,” she said to my back.
Opening the door, I motioned for her to go first. She did, all the while keeping her eyes downward.
Our drive was a silent one. She kept her eyes down for the most part but occasionally I would catch her looking out the passenger window. Then it was like she’d catch herself and look back down at her lap. “You may look out the window if you’d like,” I said giving her a smile she didn’t see.
She did hear me though and brought her head up to look out the window once again. We were getting close to our destination and I wondered what she’d think of my choice of activities.
I knew exactly when she figured out where we were going. Her eyes opened wide and she shifted in her seat. “Is there something wrong?” I asked.
Walking back out into my living room, I waited for her. Isabella stepped out of her room wearing a fitted pair of jeans and a dark blue long sleeved shirt. Her hair was pulled back in a long flowing ponytail, pulling it just slightly off her neck but still allowing it to tumble down across her shoulders. A brief flash from this morning crossed my mind of long flowing brown hair brushing against my thighs and I had to turn away abruptly before I did something stupid.
Taking a deep breath to calm myself, “Are you ready?”
“Yes, master,” she said to my back.
Opening the door, I motioned for her to go first. She did, all the while keeping her eyes downward.
Our drive was a silent one. She kept her eyes down for the most part but occasionally I would catch her looking out the passenger window. Then it was like she’d catch herself and look back down at her lap. “You may look out the window if you’d like,” I said giving her a smile she didn’t see.
She did hear me though and brought her head up to look out the window once again. We were getting close to our destination and I wondered what she’d think of my choice of activities.
I knew exactly when she figured out where we were going. Her eyes opened wide and she shifted in her seat. “Is there something wrong?” I asked.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
FB - Time Line/Ages
I thought it might be time to put the timeline we're working with for Finding Bella into black and white. It was mentioned in chapter four that Bella is 18 and was purchased eight months ago shortly before her birthday when she was still 17. For those of you who don't want to do the math, that puts us in the month of April .
I've also had several people ask me how old Edward is. From the story summary, we learn that Edward has been a Dom for over five years, since he was a sophomore in college. That means he became a Dom when he was 19. He 24 and will be 25 in June.
While we are talking about ages, Alice is two years younger than Edward so 22. We will be meeting Jasper later, chapter 10 I believe, and he is the same age as Edward.
I've also had several people ask me how old Edward is. From the story summary, we learn that Edward has been a Dom for over five years, since he was a sophomore in college. That means he became a Dom when he was 19. He 24 and will be 25 in June.
While we are talking about ages, Alice is two years younger than Edward so 22. We will be meeting Jasper later, chapter 10 I believe, and he is the same age as Edward.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
FB - Chapter 5 Teaser
I thought it would make him happy. Why hadn’t it made him happy? It didn’t matter. Look what I’d done!
What would he do? He was obviously not happy with me. How would he punish me?
No, that didn’t matter either. I’d messed up. Brought this on myself. Whatever it was I’d deal with it, try not to cry no matter how painful.
But what if he wanted me to cry? Aro hated crying. He’d always add ten lashes if I cried during my punishments. Edward wasn’t like Aro though. What would he want? Why did this have to be so confusing?!
I felt the tears streaking down my cheeks and tried to wipe them quickly away when I heard the door opening. He didn’t come in though, just stood there looking at me. “Get dressed and come to the living room, please.”
And then he was gone. I was more confused than ever. He wanted me to get dressed and come to the living room?
Then I got it. He was getting rid of me!
What would he do? He was obviously not happy with me. How would he punish me?
No, that didn’t matter either. I’d messed up. Brought this on myself. Whatever it was I’d deal with it, try not to cry no matter how painful.
But what if he wanted me to cry? Aro hated crying. He’d always add ten lashes if I cried during my punishments. Edward wasn’t like Aro though. What would he want? Why did this have to be so confusing?!
I felt the tears streaking down my cheeks and tried to wipe them quickly away when I heard the door opening. He didn’t come in though, just stood there looking at me. “Get dressed and come to the living room, please.”
And then he was gone. I was more confused than ever. He wanted me to get dressed and come to the living room?
Then I got it. He was getting rid of me!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
FB - Edward
I've had a couple of people ask me why Edward didn't call the police when he rescued Isabella. Yes, for most people that would be the logical choice of action. So what is Edward thinking? Why didn't he? There are two main reasons why he didn't call the police after he rescued Isabella.
First, he is a very private man, but he is a very public figure. Given his lifestyle choice and his position in Seattle society, he's learned that the less people know the better. And with Isabella, this is even more important. He doesn't know exactly what he's dealing with, why she was where she was, nor how she got there. Edward put his proverbial neck on the line by going to Aro and buying her. He doesn't want that kind of information to become public knowledge.
His second reason for not involving the authorities, is because he doesn't think that would be a good choice for her right now. Isabella is very submissive right now. If she was put into a high pressure situation, she may lose it entirely. And what would happen if she was pushed into pressing charges? One look at Aro, or any other dominating figure, especially male, and she'd back down if not collapses into herself.
I've also had several comments on Edward's thoughts about her becoming his submissive. Again, there are a couple of reasons for that, but they are pretty simple.
1) She is already trained. As sick as that thought might be, Aro did train her to be submissive. It is only her fear that ever makes her hesitate. Take that fear away, and Edward knows she'd be perfect.
2) He's attracted to her. We all know Edward thinks Bella is the most beautiful woman in the world. That doesn't change here. He wants her, plain and simple, but he wants her to want him as well.
First, he is a very private man, but he is a very public figure. Given his lifestyle choice and his position in Seattle society, he's learned that the less people know the better. And with Isabella, this is even more important. He doesn't know exactly what he's dealing with, why she was where she was, nor how she got there. Edward put his proverbial neck on the line by going to Aro and buying her. He doesn't want that kind of information to become public knowledge.
His second reason for not involving the authorities, is because he doesn't think that would be a good choice for her right now. Isabella is very submissive right now. If she was put into a high pressure situation, she may lose it entirely. And what would happen if she was pushed into pressing charges? One look at Aro, or any other dominating figure, especially male, and she'd back down if not collapses into herself.
I've also had several comments on Edward's thoughts about her becoming his submissive. Again, there are a couple of reasons for that, but they are pretty simple.
1) She is already trained. As sick as that thought might be, Aro did train her to be submissive. It is only her fear that ever makes her hesitate. Take that fear away, and Edward knows she'd be perfect.
2) He's attracted to her. We all know Edward thinks Bella is the most beautiful woman in the world. That doesn't change here. He wants her, plain and simple, but he wants her to want him as well.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
FB Chapter 4 Teaser
First before I give you the teaser, I changed the pictures from an earlier post of Edward's penthouse. The ones I had were okay, but weren't exactly what I was looking for. I found something better I liked so I changed them. As we move through the house, you'll get more photos. :)
Now on with the teasaer....
I led her over to the dining room table and motioned for her to sit. She complied without hesitation.
Setting my briefcase down on the table I opened it and extracted three separate pieces of paper, handing them to her along with a pen. “I need you to fill these out. Be as honest as you can.” She nodded and I left her to fill out the forms Carlisle had e-mailed me while I went to make us dinner.
The forms were nothing special. They were the standard new patient forms one had to fill out anytime changing doctors asking for name, age, family medical history, etc. Although to be honest, I was just as curious about some of that information myself. She looked young. Very young. If I had to guess, I’d say she was no more than 19 or 20. I’d had a brief fear as I’d contemplated this on the way home that I’d ‘purchased’ a minor, but I pushed it aside. If that’s what she was, then I’d turn her over to social services saying I’d found her wondering the streets. They’d never know unless Isabella told them and in her current condition, I didn’t find that likely.
Tonight dinner was simple, spaghetti. We didn’t really have time for anything fancy since we had to be at Carlisle’s office by seven.
When I brought the plates over to the table, she was on the last page. Isabella glanced at the plate but didn’t stop writing until I took the papers and pen out of her hand. “Eat first. You can finish filling these out after you’re done.”
Now on with the teasaer....
I led her over to the dining room table and motioned for her to sit. She complied without hesitation.
Setting my briefcase down on the table I opened it and extracted three separate pieces of paper, handing them to her along with a pen. “I need you to fill these out. Be as honest as you can.” She nodded and I left her to fill out the forms Carlisle had e-mailed me while I went to make us dinner.
The forms were nothing special. They were the standard new patient forms one had to fill out anytime changing doctors asking for name, age, family medical history, etc. Although to be honest, I was just as curious about some of that information myself. She looked young. Very young. If I had to guess, I’d say she was no more than 19 or 20. I’d had a brief fear as I’d contemplated this on the way home that I’d ‘purchased’ a minor, but I pushed it aside. If that’s what she was, then I’d turn her over to social services saying I’d found her wondering the streets. They’d never know unless Isabella told them and in her current condition, I didn’t find that likely.
Tonight dinner was simple, spaghetti. We didn’t really have time for anything fancy since we had to be at Carlisle’s office by seven.
When I brought the plates over to the table, she was on the last page. Isabella glanced at the plate but didn’t stop writing until I took the papers and pen out of her hand. “Eat first. You can finish filling these out after you’re done.”
Friday, October 9, 2009
Teaser - Perspective Chapter 37
Alice said you were ready to go. Of course. Alice. I nodded, and we took off through the trees at a steady pace.
We were earlier than usual getting to what had become our spot in the woods. The moon was high in the sky and the opening in the trees brought the light streaming down to the forest floor. It painted a relaxing picture, but I was anything but. I knew what I wanted out of tonight. The thought of asking Jasper for it, however, was not as easy as I would have liked. Of course, he picked up on my anxiety. What is it?
I ran a frustrated hand through my hair and tried to calm myself. This was the last thing he needed to deal with tonight.
When I didn’t answer, he asked out loud. “Why are you nervous?”
Leaning back against the nearest tree, I took a deep breath, and faced my brother. “Logically, I know that asking you is no different than what we’ve been doing, but realistically, I know it is.”
Jasper’s curiosity was peaked by my statement. He was also very firm in his belief that there was nothing he wouldn’t do to help me. “You may change your mind.”
“I doubt it,” he answered.
“Okay,” I said, releasing a breath. “I am a little concerned that I have never…”
We were earlier than usual getting to what had become our spot in the woods. The moon was high in the sky and the opening in the trees brought the light streaming down to the forest floor. It painted a relaxing picture, but I was anything but. I knew what I wanted out of tonight. The thought of asking Jasper for it, however, was not as easy as I would have liked. Of course, he picked up on my anxiety. What is it?
I ran a frustrated hand through my hair and tried to calm myself. This was the last thing he needed to deal with tonight.
When I didn’t answer, he asked out loud. “Why are you nervous?”
Leaning back against the nearest tree, I took a deep breath, and faced my brother. “Logically, I know that asking you is no different than what we’ve been doing, but realistically, I know it is.”
Jasper’s curiosity was peaked by my statement. He was also very firm in his belief that there was nothing he wouldn’t do to help me. “You may change your mind.”
“I doubt it,” he answered.
“Okay,” I said, releasing a breath. “I am a little concerned that I have never…”
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Body Shop
I knew writing about human trafficing would be controversal and I wasn't wrong. I've gotten reviews that have ranged from outright praise to concern for where my story is going. But there was something brought up by one reviewer that I wanted to share.
Some of you may have heard of a store called The Body Shop. They not only sell natural products, but also support a lot of worth while causes specificly those important to women.
One of those causes includes stopping sex trafficing of children and young people. Sex trafficing is a very real problem, even here in the US. If you'd like to read more, visit http://www.thebodyshop-usa.com/beauty/defend-human-rights.
Heavy topic today, but one I felt the need to share with you.
Some of you may have heard of a store called The Body Shop. They not only sell natural products, but also support a lot of worth while causes specificly those important to women.
One of those causes includes stopping sex trafficing of children and young people. Sex trafficing is a very real problem, even here in the US. If you'd like to read more, visit http://www.thebodyshop-usa.com/beauty/defend-human-rights.
Heavy topic today, but one I felt the need to share with you.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
FB Chapter 3
I am floored by the response this story has gotten so far. Chapter 3 just posted this morning and I was notified that it has been nominated for a Razzle Dazzle Award for Best Romance! The confidence my readers have in me is amazing and I thank you. http://razzledazzleawards.webs.com/. Voting is from October 11th at 10:00am to Oct. 29th at 10:00am.
This chapter differed from the previous two in that readers got to hear from both Edward and Bella. Yes, our girl is VERY messed up. Her way of thinking is off track and it is going to take a lot of work to get her back to where she needs to be.
I had a few reviewers ask about Alice. She is going to very important in Bella's recovery. I mean sometimes you just need a girlfriend, right?
Monday, October 5, 2009
Stories
Moving Forward - This is an alternate ending Prison Break fic. I like so many others was not happy at the end of Season 3 when by all accounts Sara Tancredi was dead. I was and still am a huge Michael and Sara shipper and wanted to give them a happy ending. In this story, I kept all the elements of Season 3, with the exception of the killing of our beloved Sara.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4831308/1/Perspective
Finding Bella - This story has been a leap of faith for me. It deals with very dark themes and I was very nervous about posting it. Only after several friends encouraged me did a press that button on the keyboard with butterflies in my stomach.
Finding Bella is an alternate universe - human story taken from many different avenues of reading and the news. A college friend of Edward's asks him out to lunch to tell him about a girl he believes is being held against her will as a submissive sex slave. Edward is a Dominant, and although he's had submissives before, nothing could have prepared him for a woman whose had all her free will taken away from her. This story is about healing and finding love in a most unlikely place.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5396401/1/Finding_Bella
The exchange was made, but not with L.J. and Sofia, but with L.J. and Sara. Moving Forward picks up two years after Season 3 ends with Michael and Sara getting ready to go on their first real date. Things were not all rosy for our couple once leaving Panama. Michael decided to turn himself in, and ended up spending 18 months back in Fox River under close surveillance. He's out now, and trying to make a life for himself and Sara.
Perspective - Twilight has such a huge fan base and it spans all ages. After reading the books, like so many other fans, I wanted more. Finding fan fiction feed that need. At first, I gravitated toward the cannon stories, the ones that were 'missing moments' as they were. As with so many fans I've ran into, many of us wanted more when it came to Bella and Edward 'practicing' for their honeymoon and then of course the actual event. And after reading a handful of stories, I couldn't find that one I was looking for. The one where Bella and Edward didn't end up crossing boundaries before they were married.
The first chapter of Perspective is Edward talking to Carlisle, telling him about he and Bella's compromise. After that, the story jumps ahead two weeks and goes from there. It is still a work in progress, but we are nearing the end. Perspective is told solely from Edward's POV and shows the delicate balance he has to endure between love and desire.
Finding Bella - This story has been a leap of faith for me. It deals with very dark themes and I was very nervous about posting it. Only after several friends encouraged me did a press that button on the keyboard with butterflies in my stomach.
Finding Bella is an alternate universe - human story taken from many different avenues of reading and the news. A college friend of Edward's asks him out to lunch to tell him about a girl he believes is being held against her will as a submissive sex slave. Edward is a Dominant, and although he's had submissives before, nothing could have prepared him for a woman whose had all her free will taken away from her. This story is about healing and finding love in a most unlikely place.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5396401/1/Finding_Bella
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Introduction
Welcome to my blog!
First I thought I'd tell you a little about myself and how I got started writing. I'm 32 years old and live in Ohio with my husband and four cats. In May of 2008 I started my first story for the TV show Prison Break. Being a huge Michael and Sara shipper, I was unhappy with the outcome of season three. And after reading several stories, I didn't find one I was overly pleased with. So, as so often happens I decided to try and write my own.
My first story, Moving Forward, started soon after. I learned a lot from writing this story, including the fact that I'm long winded. Moving Forward ended up being sixty five chapters and 120,000 words. No one was more surprised than me. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4831580/1/Moving_Forward
In the fall of 2008, a fellow PB fan brought Twilight to my attention and was adamant that I must read it. Needless to say I did and was hooked. By the new year, I was starting my first Twilight story, Perspective. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4831308/1/Perspective
I've found writing to be a wonderful creative outlet for me and I love sharing my stories with others. I'm also in the process of editing my first novel, and I'm hoping to start sending letters to agents before the end of the year.
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